See, I got a theory. My theory is that M. Night Shyamalan produces quality in every other movie. The Sixth Sense was incredible. Unbreakable was awful. Signs was good. The Village was a train wreck. Split was a hell of a good time. And Glass was a… well…

So let’s catch you up to speed real quick, something that the movie does absolutely nothing of. Glass is a sequel to both Unbreakable and Split. And each of these respective movies showcases real life superheroes – average people with extraordinary abilities. The former’s Bruce Willis had incredible strength and could not break his bones while the latter’s James McAvoy had 24 distinct personalities with one known as ‘The Beast’, who was able to climb walls and bend metal, etc. While the movie introduces you to the characters, it does not offer any background whatsoever if you had not seen the prior entries in the series.

This movie did not even feel true to M. Night’s typical directorial style. There were no fast cuts. No sharp angular shots. No major twist. Well, I guess there was a small little twist but honestly, it felt forced and unnecessary. Actually, I think the whole movie was unnecessary but you see my point. The visual style that is so iconic and impressive was absent and the majority of the movie was devoid of the creepy tinge that defines M. Night’s movies.

For a quick break of positivity, I’ll talk about the acting. The A-list cast features Sam L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, James McAvoy, and Sarah Paulson. For the most part, the acting was superb throughout the movie. Once again, James McAvoy shone through with his performance and I still am backing my guns and saying that he should have won an Oscar for his performance in Split. The acting was the one shining aspect that brought it up from the utter garbage.

Back to the hell I lived through. I HATE THE WRITING. IT WAS ACTUALLY AWFUL!!! Honestly, this insulted me as a writer and I do not appreciate the wasted potential that this movie had. The dialogue was bland, the transitions too soft, and a plot that felt thrown together as if it was a paper the night before the due date.

Typically I am a huge fan of M. Night. I think that he is an iconic director who will be remembered for a long time, but he needs to be more decisive with his projects and not pick up every money grabbing possibility. Thanks for ruining my birthday movie-going experience, dick.

Rating: Microwaved hot pocket that is frozen on the outside and pure lava on the inside