February 2019 Movie Essentials

Alright, alright, alright. So this is probably going to be uploaded on March 2nd, which, in case you don’t know, is not in February. But, ummm, uh, yeah, mmhmm, yeah, uh, okay.

Anyways, if you missed on on last month’s Essentials, these are a few of the movies I went back and watched. Some I like, some I didn’t, some are entertaining, and some make we want to smash my skull against a table.

The Lobster


We’re starting off with the skull-smashy one. This movie takes place in a dystopian world, where singles are hunted down and turned into animals. We follow our protagonist (Colin Farrell) into a hotel that’s like Match, but if you don’t find someone in a month-ish (depending on how many singles you catch), you are turned into an animal.

This movie is definitely weird, there’s no avoiding that. Every line of dialogue just has an awkward feel to it, meant to represent (in my humble opinion) how literal this society takes everything). The movie is incredibly interesting as a commentary on our society’s viewpoint of relationships and the necessity of companionship. The movie has a great twist ending that can be interpreted in a multitude of way, and no matter your thoughts on the movie, it will keep you thinking long after you hit the ‘X’ in the corner of Netflix.

Rating: Porterhouse

American Pie


Ahhhh, a comedy classic. If you haven’t this, you’re really missing out. Is it the most thematically impressive movie? No. Does it have incredible cinematography? No. But does it have funny moments? Hell yes. This 1999 classic (20 years wow) is about four guys trying to lose their virginity before graduating high school. I don’t know how this would fly if it was made in 2019, but it sure is still funny.

Rating: Flash-fried T-Bone



Yeahhhhh, this one is a little creepy. As a self-proclaimed horror connoisseur, I have to admit this isn’t the best. But it is definitely interesting along with being funny. It takes a thoroughly terrifying concept – getting kidnapped and literally having your humanity taken – and shoves it right on the big screen. This definitely isn’t the most insane or scary movie, but it definitely has serious psychological fear.

Rating: Greasy Golden Corral Sirloin

Jack the Giant Slayer


Sooooo, here’s the bad one. I watched this a few years back and was like wow giants cool! Now watching it, I’m a little disgusted by the poor special effects and mediocre script. However, the acting holds up and it is without a doubt entertaining, especially to younger audiences.

Rating: Lava hot Microwaved Beef Hot Pocket

Office Space


When talking about comedy classics, it’s hard to not mention Office Space. It’s hilarious. Yeahhhhhh, I’m gonna need you to watch it. The acting is great, the script hilarious, and I really enjoy movies that take a typically bland concept and knock the hell out of it.

Rating: Little Fatty Porterhouse


Until next month, or actually, later this month, check out these in your spare time. Every single one will entertain you and they’re without a doubt worth the watch.