March 2019 Movie Essentials

Ahhhh, the weather is finally a little less horrible. And what better to celebrate with than to sit down on the couch or bed or dirty park bench and watch a few movies? Not to worry, friends, although I’ve added some MMA action to the content here, my movie addiction is still almost as bad as my caffeine one. And boy do I have some good ones for you this month.

Tombstone

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Kicking off our March list is a lovely Western. Now I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not much off a Western type of guy. But this one….. ohhhhhh, boy. This is the upper echelon of Westerns, filled with badass quotes and superb acting. The first time I watched this, I was heavily against it. No way I’m watching some weird ass Western movie! But this movie surprised me. It was INCREDIBLE. Every scene is well shot with even better acting and it shines through in the movie’s ability to stand the test of time.

Rating: I’m your Porterhouse.

John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid

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Now this isn’t a movie per se, but a standup comedy special. BUT it’s really good. Like hilarious. From his father’s road trip shenanigans to Bill Clinton, John Mulaney gives his amazing observational comedy in his Netflix special. Kid Gorgeous is worth checking out too.

Rating: Tasty pan-fried sirloin

Cinderella Man

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This heart-warming tale about a boxer during the Great Depression is absolutely extraordinary. Great visuals combined with raw performances from amazing actors deliver an experience worth watching many times over. In my opinion, this is the best Russell Crowe movie. Yeah, I said it. Screw you, Gladiator.

Rating: Damn Sexy Grass-Fed Just the Right Amount of Spices Kobe Beef

Apostle

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So I love Dan Stevens. I always have. I always will. And now he’s in a horror movie so I couldn’t be happier. This actually came out in 2018, but it’s one of my favorite movies on Netflix right now, so I can’t leave it out. This movie has pretty much everything I’m looking for in a quality movie. Great acting, amazing script, and thematic elements that keep you thinking all the way through. It has an amazing critique of cultist elements of modern religion and the extremism that many fall into when they feel lost. I can’t get enough of this movie and could not recommend it higher.

Rating: Perfect slice of beef. Gimme a burger, steak, whatever I just need more of this delicious grass-fed Kobe beef

Piranha

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Piranha is a satirical play on Jaws, but with, you guessed it, piranhas. A Lake Havasu spring break trip goes wrong when an underwater cavern is opened and pornstars and college kids alike are feasted upon. This movie is hilarious along with incredibly entertaining but lacks at what separates a great comedy from a good one.

Rating: Juicy but a little tough Golden Corral Sirloin

 

So there are my picks for this month. Go head out and watch them, I’m pretty sure they’re all available on various streaming sites so they aren’t too hard to access. If you didn’t catch last month’s essentials, go check them out.

Until next time, Freaks.

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