April 2019 Movie Essentials

I don’t like spring. I was excited about the spring, but now I hate it. It makes me hate. My head is just permanently clogged because of allergies so that’s always fun. Hmmm, maybe if I just stayed inside and watched some good movies, that might help…


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Is it a bitch move to pick a movie that won Best Picture a few years back? Eh, whatever. Argo is a great movie. If you haven’t seen it, it’s based off a true story about American diplomats forced to hide after the revolt in Iran. Tony Mendez, played by Ben Affleck (who also directed the movie), is tasked with rescuing them. Mendez creates an intricate cover story that they are filming a movie. This thriller is intricate and political, raising thought-provoking questions while also keeping the audience locked in with action and depth.

Rating: Kobe Beef if I’ve Ever Seen It


Lilo & Stitch

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Welcome to my childhood. This movie is amazing. I loved it when I was a kid and I love it even more now. Every joke is absolutely hilarious and I can watch this over and over again without getting tired. My record so far is four times in one day. Goddamn, I love this movie and I literally cannot get tired of it. Now you may be thinking, now come on. It’s just a kids movie. You could not be more wrong. There are intricate jokes that kids simply won’t get, but you will be able to capitalize on. 11/10 would recommend.

Rating: Grade A++ Filet Mignon


You Were Never Really Here

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This is an amazing movie about Joe. Joe is an ex-Marine who is essentially a freelance killer. He targets sex trafficking gangs and rakes in the big bucks doing it. Our action starts when Joe is contracted by the mayor whose daughter was kidnapped. Joe’s job is to get her back out.

This movie is incredible because of how little it shows. That may sound counter-intuitive but this movie is truly amazing because of how they sprinkle in the information you need and everything that develops the action and characters. In lesser hands, this would have been a disaster, but through amazing editing and Joaquin Phoenix’s spectacular performance, this movie shines.

Rating: Scrumptious Filet


The Dark Knight

If you haven’t seen The Dark Knight yet, there’s something wrong with you. For me, this is the pinnacle of superhero films and is amazing in the way that it separates itself from its colleagues. It keeps the action high and sticks to the “oh so precious” comic book lore, but also brings in amazing elements over corruption and the brutality of human nature. You could watch this movie every damn and it only gets better.

Rating: Hot Damn That’s Some Good Kobe Beef


Well, you have your assignments for this month. Go check them out and love every second of it.

Until next time, Freaks.